I am still a bit unsure of myself - shaken, I supposed, but fell like things are settling both within and without.
It is almost dream like, though I am frightened of going to sleep. It is not the sleep that scares me, oh how I long for sleep. No, it is being startled awake that I dread.
I did a little laundry, washed the bathroom sink, tinted my hair (while I earned every grey and am not ashamed of them, mine is not a pretty grey like one sees or even a white, but rather dull, wiry, lifeless, so I red it up a bit).
My phone interview yesterday did not go as well as I would have liked, and I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but one is not always really in contrrol of the vehicle that we reside in it would seem to me.
I am HYPERsensitive to negative energy and need to take care - there are senseless, cruel, inconsiderate people on this planet. It saddens me that, but also how close I am to anger because of how much pain I am exhausted by - it is difficult to think straight, not to personalize the chaos and rudeness around me in the world, and am hesitant to join, rejoin life. I suppose it is better than the alternative. There was a time when I wondered if this were realy true and wondered why we all put ourselves and each other through the torment of living when there might be something better, more peaceful...?
I am going to start a few different headings to help me to think of other things - tomorrow things.
Peace out...
BB,
~LM
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