Saturday

Saturday, Saturday, ever-lovin' Saturday!

Come Saturday morning...I'm goin' away with my friends...  <== not really, just singing to myself.

I do have Saturday stuff to do - Observe and Remember - being the highest among them.

I think I might try to learn about Saturn today. I know virtually nothing about the planet. What I learn I will include in this spot here: [

Saturn Notes:

1. It is thought (I say this because I don’t know what actual analyzed samples have come from the actual planet) that there is an outer layer of gases, though I don’t know what type.

2. Beneath the outer layer is an inner (or intermediate) layer of hydrogen and helium gases.

3. Beneath this layer is a deep layer of metallic hydrogen and under that, it is not certain, but may be a core of rock made of silicon and oxygen compounds), nickel and iron.

4. Of the five planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn) that can be seen with the naked eye (if you know where to look and what you are looking for), Saturn is the most distant and in the night sky looks like a bright yellow dot.

5. Saturn’s orbit around the sun is about 29 & ½ Earth-years.

6. Saturn is probably most know (it is to me, at least) because of its rings. There are 9 main rings and 3 partial rings (arcs). They are made up of ice, rocks and dust.

7. 62 moons are said to orbit Saturn and 53 at least have been named. There are many more within the rings, perhaps.

              Earth comparisons:

1.       It has a larger volume

2.       About 95 times more massive

3.       9 times the radius (that would be from the inner most core point – to any point on its surface)

4.      BUT, only 1/8 the density

 ...more stuff about Saturn to come....

]

I have some stuff to pack up and put away, go to the gym/exercise class, too…projects that I want to put off!

Interviews are coming up, so I need to look at my wardrobe and think about possible questions/answers, do some company research...yep, lots to do!

7 Days!

Oh, my!

In seven short days I will have read the last line of this chapter in the book of my life.  I do not know where the next chapter will take me...what new sights and sounds, plots and plans or what characters will be seen again or for the first time.  There is a lot I don't know.

And that's ok. 

I'm looking forward to it, well, not so much as I'm resigned to it.  I don't have any hopes for specific things to happen, at least I don't think so.  It keeps me from being disappointed.

I still have some ways to go on my goals for February 1st and I will take it a moment at a time...not even a day at a time.  No.  Bite sized pieces are all I can chew.


Peace Out!

BB,
~LM

Sluggin' away...and not the good kind

I feel like a slug, I am tired, out of breath with a skin so thin a slight breeze hurts my heart.  My job is over one week from today and I am scared to the point of panick, then panick because I'm not as productive.

The times they are a changin'

Wake me when someone gets a clue!

I have issues too, I get that, but these sound bite folks and celebrity types that have anything to say other than the lines they are paid to speak, sing, or plays they are taught to make really need to back on out to their dressing/locker rooms and decorated offices, chill to their luxury and shut the heck up about ANYTHING!!!!

Career politicians, for the very, very, very most part, you seem some kind of mutant celebrity so this is meant for you as well.  To qualify this, there are a few that have earned my respect over the years - people who did it for the service - yes, I really believe that of some of them.  Many will not want to hear my opinion of who those few are, so I won't announce it in this medium, just know that I think they exist.  For the rest of them...oh, would that your constituents would wake up, read a book, become informed and vote.  Marking a big "X" next to a name does not indicate that you want everyone to know you do NOT want that person in office...yep, it's that bad in some cases.

People...I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope you start to think of others, show some respect, share the love and act neighborly, but I'm not naive enough to hold my breath.

This is not new.  The times that are changing are not the ignorance, or stupidity of the common person, nor is it the arrogance of the wealthy.  No.  Well, not exclusively, no.

The times that are changing are that I am beginning not to care.  I hope those few who still do, still will.  I hope that I do not cease in my caring, but gather strength, a second wind and care on and on.

16

Getting closer to my goal review, am thinking I need to be more serious about my goal working.

17

What is 17?  Keep reading....

Today, it is cold and there was frost to scrape off the windows.  Most of the snow has melted, but there are still patches of crunchy crystals in the leeways of buildings and trees.




There are now


days until I can hopefully make these three statements:

1. I do not drink soda, it is not part of my daily diet, I do not crave it, want it or even think about it.
2. My exercise routine includes at least one daily, and one weekly exercise for  keeping my heart pumping, stretching, and getting on my feet.
3. I have organized at least one room in my home (removing things that haven't been used or looked at, needed or wanted in the last year) and have begun another.

Other daily information:

Health remarks:
Nutrition: Doing well, plenty of grains, seeds - fiber, healthy protein, need to add more vegetables, that might go into my next set of goals.
Physical Activity: Low to Moderate. 
Sleep: After 2:30 a.m. and up at 6:30 to get ready for work (there aren't enough known days of that this tour to complain, though I am tired).
Prayers/Meditation/Affirmation:  steady on and positive
Skills/Talents: Business Analyst - created a resume that reflects my experience in this role.  I've built many, but I think this one is pretty good.  Working well towards handing off tasks to my replacement.
Practice: Doing the right thing when I know it and not beating myself up about it when I don't see it, BUT, hopefully learning a lesson about being more aware and not missing those pesky opportunities for Right Thought and Right Action.  Today is the birthday of Hootie and Kazoo, though the celebrations were Saturday, I still have their birthday candles and will light them tonight and make a wish for them.
Dreams: yes, but didn't note them.
Outlook:  
I'm tense and have a head ache - probably related, huh?  I try not to think about the trip on Friday, but can't help to get excited when I do think about it.  I am still disappointed that I will not be spending Sunday in Yellow Stone, but then I feel guilty about being disappointed, after all, I do get to go to the Mountains in Montana to just play in the snow! 

Today, I'm a get-by girl.

Peace Out...

BB,
~LM

Goals along the path of the places I go

I have included three, what I hope are, well not small, but achievable goals that I hope to accomplish by February 1, 2013.  They are couched in what I hope to be true statements by that date.

1. I do not drink soda, it is not part of my daily habit, I do not crave it, want it or even think about it.
2. My exercise routine includes daily, and weekly exercises for  keeping my heart pumping, stretching, and getting on my feet.
3. I have organized at least one room in my home (removing things that haven't been used or looked at, needed or wanted in the last year) and have begun another.

18 days and counting.  Starting...wait for it...

....

....

...now!

18 days until goal review!

Today

Another chance to do the right thing today... to be the right me...

We still have some snow on the ground, the air is not as cold as it was yesterday, I thought I could drive without scraping the windows...wrong!  I stopped and for some reason I was stubborn still, so I scraped the minimum needed.  Why?  I am not sure.  It wouldn't have taken that much more time or energy to go all the way around, but as I said I was stubborn about it.

As long as I can get my self to stop and do the right thing, I suppose I will not berate myself for not adding "and a Good Morning, to you," after I've said "Thank you."

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  Today is Monday and in a few days (Friday to be exact) I will be....Montana bound!


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Health remarks:
Nutrition: I've done very well today. 
Physical Activity: Low to Moderate. 
Prayers/Meditation/Affirmation: Good, Positive
Skills/Talents: Business Analyst - Good Work this morning!  Also, there are leads and feelers out, some of which are coming back to get more information from me...a good sign...I believe.
Outlook:  
1. In my quest for finding my bliss, last night was difficult - bed time is the trap that's been laid for some reason, and I need to get myself out of it.  When I go to bed I want to fall asleep not allow the warnings and sirens to begin.  I kept them at bay, but with my apnea so bad, each time I awoke, the entire routine needed to be repeated.
2. It's getting a little easier with people in my life, I don't know if they are coming to terms with the way things are or if it is just getting easier to maintain Shalom bayit.  It doesn't matter, it is the peace that is important.
3. Sometimes we must put away childhood things...sigh...maybe I'm just being childish.
4. Luggage for Montana trip should arrive today (have the tickets, the baggage check card, itinerary, and msc.  Now I need to pack...lightly.

Peace Out...

BB,
~LM

Entertainment, escape, the things we do for love

"Kiss today, 'Goodbye,' and point me toward tomorrow."

I used to stomp the boards, sing a tune, time step, but I didn't want what would come from the success of it.  I didn't want the recognition, expectations, being around false people or people who were always auditioning for you, or trying on new characters.  If it was really my dream it wouldn't have let me give it up, I think.

I enjoy movies, theatre, opera, symphony, musicals, and other such staged performances.

I like to read; mostly novels, but other things also.

There are so many emotions in music that some can alter my mood so much, sometimes I try to bottle that, keep tabs for another time when I think that feeling a certain way might be helpful.  I try to learn the words.

Sports, some news/journalism


...etc.



Peace Out...

BB,
~LM

Birthday Boots, and other musings

January 15 will be the first anniversary of the birth of two darling grandprincesses, fondly known as Hootie and Kazoo.  Their parents had a small party for them today.  One of the gifts they were given was a pair of boots...first the silver sequened boots came out and Silv seemed to like those, she reached out for them, held them, moved them around, and gave them her attention for some time.  Guin looked at them, but didn't seem too interested.  Then, after several minutes, the pink sequened boots came out and Sylv barely gave them a glance, but Guin went after them like gang busters and seemed so excited.  When they were put on her she pulled herself up to stand and then (holding on to her Aunt Ea's fingers) she lifted and stomped her be-sequened feet; they seemed to be her dancing boots!  So adorable, such a wonderful moment.  They each displayed their own unique taste... at such a tender age...they are each their own person.

I collect odd things.  'eclectic' let's say, it sounds nicer...hmm?  Sometimes a moment in time, a photograph, a stone or a seed pod catches my eye, a flower petal falls, a piece of wrapping paper, small insignificant things that carry a moment's memory, the energy of an instant - becomes part of my collection.  It is not a displayable collection, and it isn't all hidden, but is in varying states of existence.  They each remind me of something different .

I collect books, pins, tea pots, not for rarity or investment purposes, but because I enjoy them.  I also like dragonflies, (the odd hawk or wolf treasure), damselflies and faeries, too.  I don't seek them out (well, other than the books), but are remnants, gifts, things that have caught my eye or otherwise crossed my path.



f g h e f g h e f g h e




It snowed today.  The air became cold (very cold), and a wet and beautiful snow - heavily, but not for long.  The city turned out with a preemptive strike this morning - treating the streets - well done!

This morning I went to a DAR meeting with my Aunt and it was chilly, buy my wrap was all I needed.  This afternoon though it was colder, the wind was more brisk and the snow wet.  This evening, leaving the grandprincesses' first birthday party it was downright frigid - to the bone cold.

f g h e f g h e f g h e

I didn't sleep well last night - apnea is worse, I stop breathing even when I'm awake.

I dreamed, but it was too real and mundane apparently, because it didn't keep my attention.

Exercise: little to none
Diet: I didn't get any coffee today, with sleep issues and the morning DAR meeting, it just didn't happen.  I thought about stopping at a drive-through for a coffee, but the line at the first one was too long, so I went to the meeting.  After the meeting I did go to a diner for my egg, raisin toast, bacon, grits, oj, and milk.  I had a couple slices of pizza at the girl's party - and that's my intake for the day.  Oh and I had a tiny piece of cake (no icing).
Prayers/Mantras/Affirmations: Moda Ani, Today is the Day, Thank you.
Spiritual: Today I add an oak burr that caught my eye after the DAR meeting and two 1st birthday candles (G & S), one pink and one yellow, to my collection of moments and memories of innocence, growth, strength and endurance.
Outward Look: Pretty good...yes, pretty good.


Peace out...

BB,
~LM

Dreams

I dream when I sleep.

I've had some surreal abstract bizarre dreams, some startling, but also some real I sometimes think that is the reality and this the state of unconsciousness.

1/11/2013
This morning I awoke and remembered dreaming that I'd gotten a job that I'd applied for.  I don't remember why my husband was there at the office (getting ready to leave) looking dashing and wearing a white with thin lined hash patterned.  I'd say plaid but then I'd think tartan, or checked, but then I'd think multi-colored.  The threads reading the hash marks were probably deep red and blue, but the squares they made were about 3/4" white.  I don't know why I am spending so much time describing it other than it caught my attention to this length.

The husband in my dream was a man I've never met or seen, as far as I can think.  I remember a feeling - not of gushing love, but fondness, contentment, and maybe even a bit proud.  Also, when asked his age I gave the age of G... who died.

The job was not a high paying one, but it was better than not being employed, it was in the department next to the one I currently work in - at much higher pay, but as a temporary employee - still I'm doing my thing here, there I would not be, it would be "work" vs. "career."  Again...it's a job as an actual employee.

The Director of the department that oversees this department in real life (...sigh...) was the head of this department in my dream and he was kind (as he is) and showed me around and told me about various things in the department and seemed interested in other things in my life (as a human being, where some employers act as though any life outside of the workplace is secondary and unimportant).

What I've forgotten, is what happened just before this....it was why my husband was there....it was why I needed to take with me something(s)....

There were a couple other people in the office when I first was told about it and came over to my new "chair" which was ....?...at a counter?  ...with a window separating the office from the 'customer'?  ...don't know why because this job is back office contacts by phone/email sort of thing.  Anyway the other people (women) were familiar, but not necessarily from work.

It was satisfaction, I think.  A beginning.

The 0 - Fool card.

Am I coming out from a dark unaware unenlightened ignorance, ready to accept an opportunity even if it is not a challenging or rewarding one?  Am I about to take my first steps again, into a new life?  Is this the precursor to a rebirth or is this a rebirth?  

....hmmm...I think if it were the first steps, then it is a bit of a let down...settling for something because it is needed?  Wouldn't it be more fulfilling, more meaningful if it was an opportunity?  An opportunity implies the possibility of more, better, challenging things to come, doesn't it?  It does to me I think.  Whereas, settling implies (to me) stepping down or to the side and accepting that, making a commitment to accept that.

Perhaps the precursor, for some reason the 0 card came to mind - why? - maybe it augers something that is coming soon - a rebirth, of sorts, a new beginning, a do-over...?

Peace Out...

BB,
~LM

Tickets…check

Tickets...ü

Accomodations...ü

Somewhere I've never been with plans to do things I've never done...ü


TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT



There are things in my life that need fixing.  I have work to do, but I am going to enjoy this.  Every instant...micro instant...non-stop digital, nothing analog.


I am enjoying the anticipation, the building excitement that I have denied for the last five months (since this was originally planned).  But it's real, and it's close, and I'm not stopping it.

Bozeman Montana...and the island of Rockies to your SW...I am going to have a great time!!!

Prayers, Mantras, Affirmations

This is the day that's been set out before me,

These are the hours,

This is my life.

Thank  you.

I'm sorry, please forgive me
I love you, thank you.  
~hoʻoponopono~

Sh'ma...
שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ יְהוָה אֶחָד
Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Eḥad -
Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One

\

I am a divine child of light, I am safe, secure and full of love.

my needs are provided for this moment. 

Peace be with you...and also with you.

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Life is temporary...live it.

Today...

Good Morning,

Another chance to do the right thing today... to be the right me...

We still have some snow on the ground, the air is frigid, and though I didn't put my mittens on and my fingers were in pain after I finished scraping the frost of the windows of the car. I like winter, and new my fingers would warm and with that the minor pain would subside...that is my metaphor for today.
...

If things become uncomfortable or even painful, I will try to look to see if there is something that I could have done to prevent and then know that what ever happens will only be temporary.

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  Two weeks from today....Montana bound! Yay!

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Health remarks:
Nutrition: I've done well today. 
Physical Activity: Low to Moderate. 
Prayers/Meditation/Affirmation: Good, Positive, slight dip from response, but recovered.
Skills/Talents: Business Analyst - Good Work this morning!
Outlook:  
1. Thought I found a position for which I might be suited, but this particular organization is specific and can afford to be, so various things that are relatively new they can specifically require as basic qualifications, and even though I have scads more years experience with the concept/scope/roles, I am not considered qualified because I cannot say I have XYZ experience...thought about doing it anyway, but it didn't feel right.  I cannot say I have XYZ, when I don't even though XYZ is a big nothing in the grand sceme of things.  Still looking for my bliss. 
2. There is at least one person that is no longer a part of my life, except by proximity and misguided stuborness/belief.  I've been clear about things - there is nothing there, no relationship, but it is what it is because of how it is.  I will try better not to feel so... hmm... I'm not sure how to describe it, but it is not positive and it shows in my behavior and tone of voice.  I don't want to be cruel, and I can't afford financially to do the things necessary to change the circumstances, I just have to accept it and it is not difficult when not in sight.
3. Sometimes we must put away childhood things...sigh...maybe I'm just being childish.
4. Tickets for Montana trip should arrive Monday...YAY!

What to do?

If money were not an issue, and I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do?  What do I want to do?  What should I do?  What do I like to do?

Oh, what to do.....?

The Places I've Been and Hope to Go

This is a place holder....we'll see....

Have been.
Would like to visit.

United States-
Alabama -
Alaska -
Arizona - born there...
Arkansas - Fayetteville - University of Arkansas, Music Program - Starry Starry Night....
California - My favorite US City is San Francisco; fisherman's Wharf, Japanese Tea Garden, Seal Island, The Golden Gate Bridge,
Colorado - Denver, Golden, Estes Park, Lyon, Buffalo Bill Museum, Coor's Brewery, Mountain with the M, Altitude Sickness (drink LOTS of water).
Connecticut -
Delaware -
Florida - Coral Springs, Frt. Lauderdale, Miami, Alegader Alley, Orlando, Disney World, Beaches on the Atlantic and Gulf,
Georgia - Atlanta, vedalia onions, pecans, peaches, SPARKS, GA!!!! (don't get me started)
Hawaii -
Idaho -
Illinois - Chicago, Pier, Lake Michigan, Michigan Ave (great Chicago-Mix popcorn), Festivals, Music, Great and Confusing city with it's upper and lower streets...odd fun.
Indiana - Indianapolis; Letterboxing camp out get together....
Iowa - Des Moines (lived and worked), Cedar Rapids (college), Amana Colonies (great food), the Creamery Theater, Iowa City (Go Hawks!), the smell of Quaker Oats in the air, sparkeling snows, freyed nerves, Jeselle, theatre,
Kansas - Kansas City, Topeka, Witchita, Live near the MO/KS boarder.
Kentucky - Saw Shakespeare's Mid Summer Night's Dream, flying over the green green fields with the white picket fences, just as I had pictured this lovely horse country.
Louisiana -
Maine -
Maryland -
Massachusetts - Boston Weekend (+work when at Savino Del Bene)
Michigan -
Minnesota - Minniapolis (leg of trip to Scotland), Debate Tournament
Mississippi -
Missouri - Live, work, college, vacation; Branson (love it in the Fall!), Bagnal Dam, Lake of the Ozarks, Lodge of the 4 Seasons, St. Louis, Concerts, ballet, Opera, Museums, 5K Theis Park up Broadway around Museum back down to Brush Creek up to Theis; float trips - Meramec, Niangua, Elk, Currrent; camping - Pomme De Terre, St. James, Graham Cave State Park, Bennett Spring State Park, Taneycomo, Osceola
Montana - Ranch in Rockies (dog sledding, ziplining, tubing)

Nebraska -

Nevada - Los Vegas
New Hampshire -
New Jersey - Gianni worked there for a while, had dinner,
New Mexico -
New York - lived on Long Island, worked in Queens, Niagra Falls
North Carolina -
North Dakota -
Ohio - Lake Erie, The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, Letterboxing-

Oklahoma - Through many times,

Oregon -
Pennsylvania -
Rhode Island -
South Carolina -
South Dakota -
Tennessee - Red Rock, Chatenooga,
Texas - Dallas; Jeckyl and Hyde Club, Watching the Huston Astros play.
Utah - Odgen, visiting my grandparents when they lived there.  Salt Lake city (not enough to experience much)
Vermont -
Virginia -
Washington -
West Virginia - drove through
Wisconsin - Milwaukee (including, shhh....ski glow cafe), Dells
Wyoming - Yellow Stone National Park, Grand Teton National Park

Canada:
Ontario - Toronto, St. Kits, Niagra Falls, Lake Ontario
Quebec - Montreal
Brittish Columbia - Victoria, 
Alberta - Banff
Nova Scotia -

U.K. & Ireland:
Scotland - Edinburgh, Kirkcaldy, Buckhaven, Leven, Pittenweem, Lower Largo, Anstruther, St. Andrews, Art Festival (I have some lovely watercolors), Black Sea Shells
Ireland - 
England -

Europe:
France -
The Netherlands - Amsterdam
Italy - Firenza, Montecatini, Siena, Pisa are my favorites - so relaxing.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

What a great theme for the 124th Tournament of Roses Parade!

Based on the book by Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go, the parade was full of imagination (as it often is) and animals.  Well, with Jane Goodall, not only the Grand Marshall of the parade, but actually reading the book to us...well, of course there would be animals.

It has always interested me that these floats are covered entirely in organic material...amazing...crushed walnuts, cranberry leaves, plants, flowers, and of course roses.  So many of them are elaborate and painstakingly constructed some by laying each element individually by hand.  There has to be a lot of love in that, how else could someone design, plan, and build such an elaborate and temporary piece of beauty.

It will be my theme for the year, it is my will, so may it be.  I will need to pick up a copy of this book to read through, again, myself.

My immediate goal this year is to find a job.  Hopefully it will be in a positive nurturing environment where my skills and talents are needed and appreciated and from which I can afford to pay my bills (which are modest). 

May this job include or provide for travel to various places, but this year, close to home - US & Canada.

First up, Montana, at a ranch in a northern bit of the Rocky Mountains that live in southern Montana.

In 17 days I get to go to the mountains in Montana to go dog-sledding, zip-lining, and tubing! 

There may also be a couple trips to San Antonio this summer.

A friend of mine from Washington State and I may be visiting some other friends of ours in Chicago this fall.

And we'll see where all of this will take me, physically.

There are other places I would like to go:
To find my footing strong on my path.
To find my bliss.
To be in balance, physically, yes, but in all ways, too.
Write a Coe Revue (maybe someday actually do it).
Finish a draft of Found (and come up with a better title).

Oh, the Places I will go.....

Happy New Year

Raise a toast, make a wish, take a sip, share a kiss and begin the New Calendar Year!  May the bubbles in the chamagne pale in number to the good thoughts, love and light that shines in this New Year.

BB,
~LM