Who am I?

…hmmm… how would I introduce myself…

Hello, I am…

Well, I am not a label or set of labels and am more than the sum of my parts, I hope, because I connect with what is around me, but definitely not manipulatively.

This may be an odd way to tell others about one’s self, but telling you that I am a…(fill in the blank), or I …(fill in the blank), will tell you things that may or may not be accurate about me.  Your connotation of a label and mine may be different, and both may differ from the actual denotation of the labels themselves.  I know, clear as mud, right?

I walk a personal path which on occasion I’ve shared with others who happen to be on the same trail at the same time…no expectations, no dependencies, no worries, some sad partings, but without dwelling on them became fond memories.

My children describe me as a hippy and when I look at them quizzically, they are quick to add, “But I tell my friends you’re the good kind.”  Ok, you figure that out.

Oh, one thing I suppose I could say that would not be easily misconstrued is that I have a thirst for learning.

I am me…have a cup of your favorite beverage, sit by the fire and let’s chat, or watch the sunrise without a word, enjoy the aroma of the pine trees while we hike through the mountains, groove to the tunes that come from anywhere, walk along the sea shore and feel the sand beneath our toes and the waves lap at our ankles, offer a helping hand where it’s needed together, or just smile and wave from a distance.

I may be many things or nothing, still I am.

 

 

 

Daughter... of Robert and Marjorie

Mother of 5 (3 daughters & 2 sons)

Nini of 4 (3 grand princesses & 1 grand prince)

The cycle of life...within it...still...I am.

=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~

I like to read; thirst to learn, and understand that the more I do learn, the less I know.

I like that we are all different, who would reallly want to live a cardboard cookie-cutter existence in which we all look and sound alike, share the same thoughts and ideas...what would we talk about?  We'd have written all the same songs, sung them all in the same style, and so on...yes, I'm going to say it, without sadness how would we recognize happiness, without darkness how could we appreciate light? 

We need both yin and yang, black (the absence of color) and white (the combination of all colors) and everything in between.

...more later...

BB,

~LM

Resolutions & New Year's Eve!

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and since there seem to be various new years for different people that commemorate different beginnings this one, will be the new year of the Gregorian calendar.  The year will turn to 2013 in just over 24 hours, and with it, many resolutions, dreams and goals some will be kept some last only the length of the breath it took with which to speak them.





It has been a few years since I made an actual resolution (it was “To Read Less” and I kicked butt!), but I’ve been thinking that it just might be time.





I don’t know, we’ll see if it happens, but since I am blogging to keep myself in check and to just journal my thoughts and what not, it might be a step worth taking.  If I do decide to make a formal resolution it will need to be measurable, achievable and something that I feel motivated to do.

..possibly more to come...stay tuned...

BB,
~LM

Merry Christmas, Dan

Merry Christmas, my Appleberry Blintz! 

 

When will people learn?!  Apoacalypse-schmocalypse - when it happens - it happens, and I for one do not fear it.  Though there might be frightening things that go on during it, I will know that soon only goodness and light will surround us.

 

I had hoped to get up Chicago way this last fall, but alas alack ‘twas not meant to be.  I hope the coming year brings it to pass.  Or a Homecoming in Cedar Rapids!  That might be fun, huh?  If we start planning and saving our pennies we can make it happen.

There are times when I am not on fb much, but have been trying to peek in every now and again because it is a great way to keep in touch.  I’ve also been blogging, some I share between sites, some I keep only on my blog; it’s mostly a place where I note what I’m doing for me – to make me a better person as a whole – peeling off the layers to find who I used to be – I know I’ll never be her again, but I needed a “do over” and this is my way of accomplishing that.

 I hope and pray that you and Tamaye (yikes, I hope I spelled that right) have a great year in 2013 and beyond, may you bask in your friendship and love.

You will always have a Styrofoam covered place in my heart, I love you dearly and miss you.  Did you see the song I dedicated to you and our other friends (Carol King’s, Now and Forever)?  When I think of that song I remember you, Missy, Dennis, Sir Thomas, Ashley, Betz….  I listen to it intentionally every once in a while to see what memories it conjures, but I always…always see the two of us cutting Styrofoam sheets, your arm band after Mr. John Lennon died, our massage lesson in the black box – that was an odd class, never knew what Prof Puf was going to come up with!

Listen to Now and Forever, the words express so well what I feel for you!

I miss the tears,

I miss the laughter,

I miss the day we met and all that followed after.

 

It is because I can feel things like this that I know there is God.

 

Merry Christmas, my dear dear friend. 

Brightest Blessings,

~LM

Bliss List

In no particular order, yet, just listing things... it being the season of Christmas Lists and the decade of Bucket Lists... I've decided to create a bliss list.

1. Find my bliss.  What is my dream, hope, passion?  I don't know, right now.  There have been some that I thought I had, but in at least one case, am soooo glad I dodged that bullet.
2. Return to Scotland for an extended stay...or to move there...whatever...
3. Own freely, legally and completely my own little corner of the universe, so that I can offer shelter, and have it to create a space that represents love, light, peace, acceptance, nature, knowledge, books, free thought (all mod cons and some creature comforts thrown in for the why not of it).
4. For my person to be whole; my body to be healthy, balanced and full of vitality; my mind engaged, open, accepting and creative; my hands busy and helpful; my spirit in unison with Right Thought, in communion with the way, living according to what I am meant to be with my energy/spirit open and moving to accept what is offered and to release those blocks to full sentience (to tone it down a notch or two).
5. Have fiscal security to be free of worry about utility bills, food, shelter, insurance, taxes, transportation, maintenance, to be able to help, to provide.  Perhaps this will come with a career in a positive environment where my talents are put to good use and I am appreciated.
6. Foster the importance of memories over things in those around me, especially in my children and theirs - by creating moments - islands in time - once, twice, four times a year (or more).  To host Spring Fling, Yule Snow Ball, AutumnFest, Summer Sweetness...?... at least once a year though.
7. My words for Emma, Halie and myself where they should be.  The time, privacy, tools, return of inspiration and motivation to create the books.
8. Own freely, legally, and completely a reliable car/automobile/vehicle, that is registered, street legal, safe, and in great condition.
9. To sing before an audience music that is meant for my voice.  Not just one song, would be nice.
10. ...

We'll see what I can come up with for number ten.

BB,
~LM

Not a Christmas Carol, but...

Christmas Present.

To those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope your merry making was thoroughly enjoyable.  Let me tell you, whoever invented the premixed Kentucky Whiskey Egg Nog...we's got to kick back and chill awhile...that's some good stuff there!  You don't even have to like egg nog, 'cause I'm not certain there is any egg or nog involved.  A good 1-2 oz of that stuff will make your spirits bright...I doubled that and it was good - especially with my favorite Christmas cookies - my mom's spritz (I call them butter cookies)...delish! 

Remember, also, there are still several days left!  It is 12 days long, culminating on the Feast of the Epiphany (when the Magi brought the gifts)...Yay! 

I send prayers of peace, strength, and love to those who find it difficult to celebrate - I know the feeling, but even in the midst of physical disaster, emotional turmoil, my prayer for you is also one of hope.  I hope you can find a light deep inside to show you what is important in your life and fill it.  What's important is different for us all, but I hope y'all find it.

For those who do not celebrate Christmas, but have had or are having other celebrations I wish you much joy in them, may love surround you.

For those who do not celebrate this time of year, I hope you at least celebrate life and are filled with warm fuzzies.  Enjoy your moments.

My gift to everyone on this Christmas Eve is to listen to this song and dream. Dream a dream that once filled your heart or may be your future or is pure imagination but makes you smile. This is for your Christmas present. (Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Frank Sinatra)



It is the first Christmas for Pootie, Pookie, and Precious...
And the tenth for my grandprincess...sigh...

All four of my lovies, my treasures.



Christmas Past.

I went to the DAR Christmas luncheon where we shared a Christmas memory, I shared this one:
My parents had 6 children and my Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Dick had 5.  So, together we were a party, and we spent several holidays together.  One particular Christmas we were over at my Aunt's.  They lived on a steep hill and it was snowy and icy, so we of course went sledding down it (I still have that sled, too, though it needs a bit of work).  Anyway, this is a neighborhood, like folks used to grow up in, there were cars parked on the street and like I said it was steep.  So, once someone went down the hill they had to stay to be the look out (in case any cars came) until the next one came down, then they could go back up and get in line (yep, draggin' that sorry a#@ sled -not so fun now- up that steep hill).  But once up, the drag was forgotten and all focus went to waiting the next turn down.

Of course, now if kids tried that, some neighbor would probably be up in arms at the lack of supervision or the amount of danger.  Some counterintuitive among them might even try to call child services.  But we were kids being kids playing like kids.  I'm glad that I had outdoor kids when they were growing up, and I've been told that there are things I don't want to know...guess I'll have to wait until I stumble on one of their blogs.

This is a picture of my Aunt and my Mom this Christmas day (2012).

My Christmas past, also includes a memory that actually featured this song, and it was beautiful.  Still is, because I still have the memory.  The excitement of that love I will always carry in my heart.  We listened to this song together on a Christmas Morning even though we were not even in the same country! (Merry Christmas Darling - Karen Carpenter)

Christmas Future.
For Christmas future I truly hope that the Age of Aquarius, which began last Friday, is an age of enlightenment, acceptance and brotherhood of man.  I'm not so insecure that I need to neuter my language - egalitarian to the end, fear not.  (Age of Aquarius + Let the Sunshine - 5th Dimension)

The last may not seem Christmasy, but if the true meaning of Christmas is about light and love, then celebrating the new age is the epitome of Christmas.  Let the light shine on us all, all the time.  Let our own personal lights guide, and be guided by, each other.  May love light up the sky in the darkest of times and wrap its warmth around us always.

BB

~LM

Another shot of the 'nog...yep, it was that good!  Though I'm dubious as to whether any eggs were harmed in the making of this beverage.

Really...the issue can't stand on it's own, bring in the actors?

My hope for us all today, is (as usual) for cool heads and warm hearts. 

But also, I hope for well considered thought before jumping on any bandwagons (yes even the one driven by my love-mobile).  

Please do not confuse your moment of entertainment at the hands of one of your favorite actors and such, with people of knowledge and authority (didn’t we learn that lesson with the “I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on T.V., but…?”).

 Sometimes, heartbreaking rotten stuff happens, let’s look deeper.   I hope for acceptance of all, and for awareness, not knee-jerking reactions to tragic happenings.

If there is one issue that, in my opinion, should be at the top of our “Talking Points” list because of recent events; if there is one issue that we should DEMAND of our elected officials to look into and create a plan for – that issue, in this writers opinion, should be mental health. 

 De-stigmatize mental health issues so people don’t feel the need to fear and hide, but can be open and feel supported.  Why would someone feel less inclined to give help or send good wishes to someone whose child battles any depression bi-polar paranoia schizophrenia delusional mental process, than one who battles cancer? 

 Why, why, why in the name of all that means anything to anyone can we not provide mental health care for those who suffer from things people still won’t talk about?  Shake your head, roll your eyes, if you choose, but what good is that doing?  Can’t you even discuss it?

 I will mention teens and young adults specifically because of two recent incidents, but there are many other examples of violence at the hand of mental illness.  There are others who have not committed crimes (some require a ‘yet’ at the end of that clause), but who still suffer, and should receive treatment, not only for their illnesses, chemical imbalances and synaptic misfiring, but as a whole person and for the family, as well!  Where’s the Ronald McDonald House located in psychiatric hospitals?

 Forgive me if you can, or don’t, that’s up to you, but I will NOT be participating, promoting or in any other manner engaging in any discussions regarding gun control, especially when there are much more tragic things we should be talking about.

Respect for the human person – entire acceptance, please, start talking about something that might actually help in coming days, years, generations.

Peace out with light and love,

Brightest blessings,

BB
~LM

 ..now remember your manners…

Winter Solstice 122112

Tonight is the longest of this year, and has the added aclaim of having an interesting numeric date associated with it. 

As light begins to lengthen in our days, may it also lengthen and strengthen in our lives, even in those dark corners we keep hidden.  Because, y'know, at the end of the road, we can't hide from ourselves I don't know why even we try.

My Yule log was not lit this year, though a fine specimine it is, even if my son makes fun of it - found on a corner with two of it's brothers beneath a sign that read, "FREE."  It doesn't get any more Yule-y than that, since traditionally, one should not purchase a Yule log.  Ideally it is found or received as a gift.

{more to come...things to be done}

BB,
~LM

Collecting Water

The first snow of this winter fell yesterday in a blustery, blizzardy wet heaviness, complete with the odd thunder crack...I know weird, huh?  That doesn't happen very often, at least in this area.

After letting it rest for at least 24 hours, I collected some, I may collect more tomorrow, we'll see.

One never knows when one might need water from a first snow that was collected on Winter Solstice (12-21-12).  One doesn't know a lot of things.

{...to add pix}

BB,
~LM

Today Happened

I know...who knew, right? 

We woke up this morning and there was no Apocalypse.  OK, so now we get a "do over" and it is up to each and every one of use to choose what to do with it or how we live it.

Saying "Please," and "Thank you," waving at folks, smiling at people you walk by and saying "Hello," I think is a good way to start.

So, "Good Morning!"

Today starts everything, even things you are in the middle of you will begin to continue today!  This is the key, choose to be a part of it, live in it and with others in love and life.

BB,
~LM

12 - 21 - 2012

Tomorrow is the day that many have predicted as the end of the world, the beginning of the apocolypse, because of various things...the Mayan calandar, astrolgical signs, and other things, none of which I know or really care to know much about.

But as I was thinking about this (after hearing it mentioned in the news, yet again), I decided to reach out to my friends and family on social media:

Ok...just spit-balling here, but...y'know what?

Fuhgeddabout the Mayan-end-of-the-world deal-io.

I propose and end of the world as we know it! Starting tomorrow, I dare you to end the violence (in actions, words, and thoughts), bigotry, hatred, expectations, feelings of entitlement, looking for (because you will find) reasons to be offended. You only have YOU to count on or to blame – if y...ou don’t get out of this world what you put into it, you can take that up with a higher consciousness when you’ve finished with this life. But for now, you’re in it, step up to the plate and even if you strike out, do it swinging with all you have!

I propose that starting TOMORROW; we turn this world into a positive, peaceful, loving, forgiving place. Think about the people around you, open or hold a door for someone, leave a random “have a nice day” note on someone’s car window, pay for someone’s meal in a restaurant/dinner if you can afford to, say “Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening” and “Hi” to people regardless of whether you know them or not, and wave as you pass folks…ALL of them! If you've ever done anything for anyone, stop waiting for them to pay you back, and instead trust that it taught them to do something to help someone else.

No matter where you are or where you go, starting tomorrow, just imagine the light and positive energy that can radiate from the synergy of our love banding together – heart to heart.

Who’s with me?

The gestalt is now, man, and it is far out!

Maybe love beads, flowers in the hair and those furry feet stickers will make a come back...reminders, to keep on truckin', love one another, and share.

Peace out...
BB,
~LM

Beautiful Winter

The first snow fall of the year and it is beautiful!

It is wonderful outside, like being inside a snow globe, except without all the – y’know being shaken around and turned upside down and stuff. 

I love winter.   I think the snow has stopped falling, but it’s pretty windy so it will still look like it’s snowing as it blows off roof tops and tree limbs.

Yes, I had to put on the winter gear and scrape windows and, well, the whole car, but it was a good workout. 

 

So quiet and clean.

 

 The sun peaked through and left but a dusting

I like the first day it snows!

BB,
~LM

Meals - Breakfast

Until I have a personal nutritionist/trainer/chef I will muddle through as best I can with my diet and exercise.

My breakfast may be monotonous, and is not perfect, but I haven't found significant problems with it; though I am certainly open to discussion. 

Generally, my breakfast consists of:

1 cup of black coffee (or espresso if I feel like watching the pot on the stove)

1 orange

 and usually,

 1 meal shake because it's quick, it's ready, and while it is processed it is a good source of protein and fiber.  No excuse to EVER skip breakfast with these in the fridge!

followed by,

Oatmeal a sprinkle of brown sugar or maple with 2 T. shelled chopped pecans for mid to late morning snack.

But, if I am going to watch the espresso pot, I might as well boil an egg (slap on anchovies) and toast some whole grain bread, right?

*      *     *

Or, if I'm traveling or out and about for some reason,

The coffee and, if available, an orange are still my breakfast staples.  If an orange is not available, I'll go with the orange juice or do without sunshine that morning. 

Then in addition, I might...

…splurge on some crispy bacon (though few know how to do this and if I do it myself, I'll make and eat too much), whole grain toast (sour dough if I'm in San Francisco) and a scrambled egg.

…if I am planning on splurging at another meal, then maybe I will have oatmeal, and a glass of skim (or lowest fat) milk.

…if in Scotland this is the most difficult meal of the day for some reason, unless I'm home, so I would order eggs Benedict sans hollandaise sauce and eat 1/2 (I try to order 1/2, but usually that request is met with complete bafflement).  So a poached egg and English muffin, but for some reason actually ordering a poached egg and an English muffin might get something unexpected.

...in Ontario, there is this great diner in St. Kits with the best breakfast potatoes.  When I asked the waitress who had worked there for years, what was on them (garlic, paprika, salt, what else?) she told me the cook wouldn't even tell her, they'd just giver her a shaker of it.  Only coffee at Tim Horton's...too tempting otherwise.

…feast on scrumptiously creamy scrambled eggs with cheese and chunks of lean tender ham, and biscuits, if my father is anywhere near at hand.

...in Italy, a simple coffee (espresso) and a sweet cookie or small pastry.

…grab and go from a kiosk, a Greek yogurt, and maybe graham crackers, if traveling through an airport/train station, etc. and am literally eating on the run.

*      *     *

Breakfast for dinner...

Now that is not to say that I don’t enjoy pancakes with boysenberry syrup, sausage, grits, hash browns, omelets or waffles, because I do, but I rarely…and I do mean rarely eat them, and even more rarely do I eat them for breakfast (oh, an omelet stuffed with cheese tomatoes and ham from room service when staying at a posh hotel, but how often is that, right?)  But if I’m having breakfast for an early dinner and I go to a place that offers breakfast at all hours, then I may go with a short stack, links and boysenberry, but not usually in the morning.  I can’t even remember the last time I ate something like this for a breakfast, unless it was a first Sunday KOC thing, and then it is more like brunch.

*      *     *

Special mornings…

There are certain holidays or special days where specific foods for breakfasts have become tradition;

Biscuits and Sausage-Gravy + Sticky pecan rolls + egg, cheese, sausage, hash brown casserole + latkes + sausage + crispy bacon + along with cocoa, grape, orange and cranberry juices, Mimosa (orange juice & champagne) + coffee with Irish Cream (not to be confused with Irish Coffee… a completely different drink that I only trust a veteran bartender to make correctly) .

*      *     *

OK, that covers the food portion of breakfast.  Now, what about breakfast time?

Depending on where I am, and with whom I am, breakfast may unfold differently.  The actual breakfast time is loosely defined.  Some is after or during the breakfast meal, some before it.

When I am alone, or the first one up, I like it to be a time that is savored.  After I eat, I like to take a walk, on the wharf, near the sea, down a new street, in a park, around the campgrounds, around the block, or sit in the sun-ish and read.

Sometimes it turns out to be the best time to discuss various plans and activities for the day or coming days, I prefer it to be kept light and tentative, unless tickets need to be booked - I'm flexible.

Unfortunately there are times when it just happens in the middle of something else, between flight legs, or on a drive, etc.  in that case I just go with it and hopefully take in something of the surroundings to enjoy even if it is only while moving past them.

Taking time to start the day intentionally, in my opinion is what is most important about breakfast time.  It just doesn't feel right when I stumble or fall into it.  Those kinds of days are just a waist of make-up! 

OK, so how do I go about beginning a day with intent? 

It starts before eating, but continues during the meal and afterwards.

I say, "Thank you," I appreciate the chance to find the reason for this new day, followed by affirmations; good positive words that set my mind in a relaxed and confident place. 

Sun Salutation (morning sequence of asanas), oh, and I would like to learn tai chi!

Getting physically ready for the day; enjoying a shower (even a short one) as a form of meditative relaxation (this is great after an exercise class and before bed, too) as well as a cleansing of the body (and mind).  I release any tensions that I might not even be aware of by taking inventory of my neck, shoulders, etc. tense and release, massage with lathered soap and relax.  This can continue with lotion after the shower, also.  Sometimes there is something niggling at me, and it causes stress, but I'm not even consciously aware of it, so going through these types of exercises help identify and resolve issues.

Taking care in how I dress and prepare myself for the day - for what the day calls for; casual, business, dressy, festive, fun - but in MY style.  I do not try to look like someone else.

I'll skip hair, make-up and other accoutrements for now.  That's a whole conversation I need to have with myself.

Saying "Good Morning" to those around me, I've seen people, families even, who walk by each other in the morning with absolutely no acknowledgement...if it works for them great, but I say, "Good Morning."

Also I say, "Good Morning" to myself.  I look in the mirror, this was not an easy thing to start, but it was important for me to unblock this.  To look at myself and see who I am, and to let, who I know is inside, come to the surface so that others can interact with who I really am, not just what they see.  Also, for me to be comfortable with how I look, because at this time, this body, this face, is a part of who I am - it's not all of it, or even most of it - but it is a part, a big part of me.  I say, "You are the most beautiful you there is!" 10, 20, 100 times, whatever it takes.

Look around, to get my bearings, did I leave something out last night that I need to do something with?  I don't like to forget things or lose things - so I don't and it helps if I take a look around to see where I am and what I'm doing or what I've done.  Sometimes I will ask myself if I enjoy my surroundings.  If not, why?  Can I make changes?  If so, do it.  If not, what can I do to learn to accept that they are what they are?

Spend some time, if needed, clearing my mind and setting my to do list - what are the 5 most important things to do that day?  Today, my list reads; 1) Work, 2) Exercise class, 3) Take picture of flowers and send to Kristen, 4) Sort wreath,  5) Write in my journal.  OK, now I have my 5 things I want to accomplish, I can clear my head of everything else.  I do not need to hold onto anything else.  If a thought comes to mind that does need attention, I can add it to the list or just make a note that a phone call needs to be made on x date, or whatever it is.

The day has begun and I choose to be a part of it.  I will do my best to be my best. 

 
BB,
~LM

Birthday Wishes

This year's Birthday cake was Tiramisu, which is Italian for "yummy," I tell you! Actually, it's Italian for "pick-me-up" (probably from the espresso and chocolate), but I like my definition better and since it's my birthday, I get my way.


The anniversary of one's birth is a great time to celebrate and be spoiled; cake, flowers, cards, gifts, and many thoughtful people sharing the day - party on! My cup runneth over...


But it is also a good time for reflection and looking forward.


This year, I did not spend much time reflecting that another year of my life has passed, because I have recently looked at myself and my life and have found it wanting; which is what brought me here to blog and keep track of myself in the first place.


Also, I am not planning to dwell on the future too much, because the changes I am working to make in my life and specifically with myself for a better tomorrow are what I'm keeping track of here.


There is more to it, of course, because it's not just about making changes to myself or in my life. It is more like peeling off layers of ...stuff... to get to the me I am supposed to be.   I know I'm in here somewhere and I plan to find me.


I remember her, I liked her, I don't remember what happened to her though. And that doesn't matter. What matters is that I stay focused and keep peeling away the layers, by doing the right thing and finding the right things that need to be done.


One of the things I've mentioned that are helpful are having reminders of Right Thought.  Seeing things that are meaningful and giving pause to them.  One such meaningful sign, especially in the winter months, is light. The candle on my cake did not go unnoticed or unappreciated by me. It was a warm glow, like a porch light left on to tell me that the key is under the mat, come on in.  


Y'know, sometimes, I almost know my way back. When I don't think too hard about it, when I’m not trying to see it through a magnifying glass or analyzing it too much, then I notice the chinks in the wall, I built in a hidden place, that show the light from the other side.  This makes me smile...it's a good thing, a good feeling, when I seem to be in the right place at the right time.


So, the candle was lit on the cake. I closed my eyes and made my birthday wish. I can't share it or it won't come true, right? At least, that's the way I remember it.

...wink...

BB,
~LM

Good Eating - Orange...

I grew up hearing, "...a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine..." and believe it or not, the choice is yours, but it wasn't unheard of for my father to wake me up with a glass of orange juice in his hand.

Yep, I have been drinking orange juice every morning since...the crooner lounged in a hammock.  It was tasty, sweet and tart, a great kick-start to the day.

A daily dose of Vitamin C, we were told, would help ward off colds and such, was an antioxidant, and helps fight infections.  It was good stuff, I didn't need convincing, the color and taste alone were enough.

Well, a few weeks ago, I stopped drinking orange juice.  I never thought I'd see the day, but it's cool.  And not to panic, I did not give up on oranges completely I just traded orange juice for oranges.  The hard part about eating fresh is the number of trips to the food market increases, as does the work it takes to consume said freshness, along with the cost, but, in this case, it seems a better substitute to eat an orange and avoid all the processed, chemicals and sugars that are added.

So, I made an actual switcher-oo, and it requires more work, time and money, but not THAT much more and I think there will be benefits to this modification.

Oranges are good eating!

BB,
~LM

Fortnight...a Start

It's been two weeks since I noticed I had left my path untended and was walking through life unsupervised (by myself...not wise, at least for me).

In that two week period, I have learned to be a part of my life, and that is not something that is easy, because I have spent so much time hiding from it.

"Sacramentals" - I do need reminders around me, it is early yet and I am still easily distracted.  Photographs, quotes, art, books, music, nature, basic elements.  Base Red is still the color for me, I will soon graduate to sacral orange when the time is right.

Morning Affirmations - I find this is an important part of my day; starting it with a "Thank you" and then some positive words to myself, such as: "I am safe, peaceful and protected; all my needs are met abundantly.  I am a loving, kind, and forgiving being of light and energy.  I am capable, I am good, I am a beautiful me.  I am centered, vital and rooted.”

Looking people in the eye and not looking for the nearest corner to crawl in.  Seriously, what is the worst thing that can happen?  They don't say "Good Morning" back?  Puh-ll-lease!  Surely I can be more farsighted than that....surely, right?  Seriously though, it is a habit to look away from people, and even when I'm talking with them I tend to look at their mouth, because I'm hard of hearing and it helps me often to understand what is being said.  That is not an excuse, but it is something that I have weighed in the last two weeks, while I talk with someone - is what I might miss in what they say more important that what they might miss in my attention to their importance in that moment?  Yes, I have tried to be especially aware of that.  If it is someone who knows I'm hard of hearing and I'm not getting instructions for diffusing an incendiary device, then the eyes should win!

Walking with my chin up, shoulders back, relaxed, and confident….check…P  I’ll work on adding a smile later…one thing at a time.

Exercise, this is important for a few reasons.  Our bodies are built to move and move they should.  I was forced into sedentary monotony, but I have no excuses now.  Also, as I grow up, get on, whatever, my system needs the extra help to process calories, rid itself of toxins, breathe deeply, stretch and re-build muscle to avoid injury, lots of good reasons.  No, knowing these reasons doesn’t make it easier, but it helps keep me focused.

Food, adding new healthy choices to my diet, replacing some things with better things is not an overnight change, unless someone out there is hiring me a personal nutritionist/chef leaving me to only eat what is put in front of me when it appears in front of me.  If left to my own devices then it will be as I can.  Oatmeal and skim milk are the two foods that I eat almost daily, and plan to continue.  Also, and it’s my next “Good Eating” I have given up orange juice…you have no idea!

Right Thought, keeping it positive and laid back.  I am fundamentally a positive, giving, forgiving, live-and-let-live kind of person, but one of the things I found about myself that I did not want to tolerate any longer was that I had become angry.  My nerves would reach a pitch (sometimes in nothing flat) that released a negative burst.  This is not a helpful way to live, nor is it very kind to those around me who have found themselves on the business end of such a burst.  Oh, it wasn’t that often, nor was it that bad, but the fact that it “was” at all needed to stop.  There might be sharpness to my words, a surliness in my tone, or even words that just didn’t need to be said.  “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all…” yeah, Mom, I remember.  Sometimes; however, a thing does need to be said.  Still, it can be couched in kindness.  There’s no reason for rudeness, ever.  I’m on it.  Two weeks have passed and there have been two incidents that I can think of that slipped, it was reactionary – I don’t like that.  I don’t want to be that kind of person.  This is where the reminders, affirmations and things that promote positive, patient, and understanding qualities are helpful.  This is the part of me that I wanted most to change when I took to walking my journey again intentionally (not by drifting through it like I had been).

Being open.  That is going to take some time.  I think this journal begins to addresses it, but it will take some serious work to rid myself of the “I am an island” (thank you Paul Simon, no I’m not being sarcastic I like that song) mentality.

Those are the parts of me that have been touched upon in the last two weeks that I will continue to address and improve upon.

BB,
~LM

Good Eating - Milk/Dairy

I remember hearing once that milk is the perfect food.  If one was to be trapped somewhere and could only choose one thing to eat/drink, milk should be the choice.  There is protien, vitamins, hydration...pure goodness.  Starting with the most natural nurturing nutrition a babe in arms could receive, milk is a good choice!

I wouldn't say that I am lactose intolerant, but as I've grown up it has been noticable to me that I cannot partake of dairy the way I was able to as a youth.  That may be as it should be.  I am not among them, but there are some who are unable or have chosen not to consume natural dairy products, and for them there are other sources of calcium and other goodnesses (I love making fun words) that I get in milk.

I like the taste of milk, too, a definite checkmark in the "Pro" column for any food, as far as I am concerned.

I drink at least 2 cups of skim milk daily.  That is my intake, it works for me and I don't notice any dairy issues when I keep to skim milk.  I keep a bottle in the small fridge at work, sometimes it travels home and back, sometimes it stays put.  Plus, it is perfect with my oatmeal...wink...

BB,
~LM

Light a Light

At the darkest time of the year, many celebrate light. 

Some of these celebrations are in preparation for its coming, some in remembrance of its past, others in lifting it up - recognizing it as an important part of their lives and embracing it as the darkness turns over to light (soon) and the days gain in length until the light becomes longer than the dark and the cycle begins again.

Light a light, so we no longer exist in darkness, though darkness need not be feared.
Light a light of comfort, keep us safe and warm, let us swell with thanks that our needs are met this moment, abundantly.
Light a light as a beacon to show the way; if you are lost, I am looking for you.  If I am lost; I hope...that there is someone out there who is looking for me.
Light a light to let me know that I am welcome, leave the light on a little longer.
Light a light of appreciation and ovation, one more time, again.
Light a light to .....

Some of my favorite lights are the

Janis Ian song:

The poem:  (especially the last two lines)                               

The Old Astronomer to His Pupil
Sarah Williams
"...

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. "

A memory:
Once, on an extended stay, in Scotland, I had gone to St. Andrews and needed to catch the bus back to Buckhaven. It had gotten dark fast and the rain that had held off for the afternoon finally started softly , steadily and very cold.  The first bus would not be an express, but would get me out of the cold and rainy darkness.

It was not a long wait for the bus, and as I rode through all the small villages, there were some cottages, Inns, pubs and streets where the lamps were lit (within and without).

The rain was coming down harder, but those lights, even from far away in a moving bus, warmed me inside and made me smile; it still does.

Inside those homes, Inns, pubs, and on those streets, were lives that I may never know, but to whom I will be forever connected, as long as the memory remains.

Most of the ride was on the long, narrow A92 flanked by fields and darkness, and while (as I said), it was not an express bus which I might have usually preferred so that I could get home faster. At that time, that night, I was where I was meant to be.  I treasured each and every moment when the driver would turn off the main and wind down a few small braes in the tiny fishing villages; to find the lights and those who they served to warm, welcome, protect, and ...well...just light up a room on a cold, dark, rainy night.

Traditions (not definitions , but things that are continued, remembered, shared, or tried):

Yuletide; decorating and hiding a Yule log then preparing clues and having a hunt to find the log.  The log can then be burned with wishes, written on paper and thrown into the fire.

 (Before Picture; After is coming soon)


Winter solstice; The wheel turns to 1° of Capricorn; towards light on the shortest day (longest night) of the year.  Celebrating light in the darkness, as most winter holidays do, Winter Solstice is a time of looking forward to better times, but most importantly enjoying the moment.  Decorating an outdoor tree with lights and celestial symbols as well as treats for outdoor friends; apple slices with peanut butter and sprinkled with seeds.  Decorations also reflect the golden color of light, white innocence of youthful purity, red the color of life, blood, motherhood, and black, the color of night, the fullness of time, all that is dormant, the parents whose children have grown.

 

 

Advent; Four Sundays prior to Christmas that are marked with a wreath with four candles.  Each candle has a significance and purpose in the preparation of the coming week, culminating in a twelve day period of Christmas celebration, light in the midst of darkness.

Chanukah: a holiday that celebrates a tale of the miracle of light while it advertises and validates faith, by lighting one candle a night for eight nights until 9 candles shine bright (the ninth is the guardian with which the others are lit).  One of the cool traditions about this tradition is the way the candles are put in the Chanukia (candelabra), one per night, and the newest night’s candle is lit first, so each night, and each candle is special.  Spinning the dreidel to gamble for the “pot” is also fun.

This week I'll be thinking, even as I blow out my birthday candle, to let the lights shine on, and on!

BB,
~LM '



Turbo Kick

I soooooo enjoyed this class! It's kickboxing and it is a heck of a workout, but it is so much fun. I am still not able to keep up with all that is going on, and I'm not afraid to modify.



The important thing about exercise, for me, right now, is just DOing it. Getting myself up and moving and going farther and longer than I want, but moving all I can.



I have gone to two classes for two weeks and I am doing ok, but I want to do more than ok. So, I'm going to kick it up a notch; I'm going to go to at least two classes and at least one free-form.



Turbo Kick Class - definitely- at least once, maybe twice and skip the boot camp...we'll see.



I have a lot to learn for both of these classes, but they are really great, and I don't feel the least self-conscious that I am not up to the level of most of the class or that I don't know the steps/moves that the instructor calls out.  It will come.  I will learn.

BB,
~LM

So Easy to Forget

Remembering is sometimes hard.  We write little notes, tie a string around a finger (I don't think anyone actually does that anymore, but I could be wrong), and still we forget what we want to remember.

I'm not talking about living in the past and remembering an incident.  I'm talking about changes I want to make in my life, new habbits that I want to form, get lost sometimes in the midst of all the distractions of the day.

Creating reminders, setting alarms, having visual images...these are things I am going to focus on this week's walk through life.

Beginning with morning affirmations, prayers, petitions, mantras that help ease out of mind-clutter and into Right Thought.

Red - the color of  - life; blood - spirit; fire

I like the color red.  In fact, right now I'm looking at my coat and scarf (both red) the mornings are beginning to get chilly (17° F), and it reminds me of life and spirit – physical and energy – that of which I exist.

Having a physical activity in plain sight; today is kickboxing or Zumba; I think kickboxing because the class starts earlier, but I may freestyle it and do my own thing.  The important thing is to have something already in front of me that reminds me, prepares me, to engage in something that involves moving myself in a fun and challenging way.  Even dancing, which I enjoy can be challenging.

Other symbols, sights, sounds, tastes, aromas that I can place around me to keep me from falling back into the trap that I lived in for too long – getting lost in the ridiculousness of daily sh..stuff.

Life is temporary, the physical is the source of pain, let it all go, it doesn’t matter.  None of it matters.  I don’t know for certain what DOES matter, but ‘things’ I can’t believe do.  I do not need status, fortune, (I never wanted fame…dodged that bullet), transient distraction and invitations for loss of Right Thought.

That is not to say that I am, or intend to become, a hermit or ascetic monk-ess.  I am of this world and will live in it.  I do not shun the ways and inventions of comfort, entertainment or convenience, but neither do I bow to them. 

Having ‘things’ the worry of not having them THAT is what is NOT important.  I’m a get-by-girl, and that works for me. 

Today, this moment, these needs are provided for abundantly and I am thankful for that.  I am safe, unafraid, positive, and protected from what is negative and petty.

My path lies before me still and I will not over analyze the steps I take, but I will be careful to train retrain myself to be, to exist, to live life and let others live it, without opinion interfering with them or me.  I will allow thoughts to pass through my mind not forbidding or prohibiting the natural flow of things.  I will do what I can physically to enhance the positive energy that surrounds and moves within that natural flow for both myself and for those around me.

Live and let live.

BB,

~LM