Birthday Wishes

This year's Birthday cake was Tiramisu, which is Italian for "yummy," I tell you! Actually, it's Italian for "pick-me-up" (probably from the espresso and chocolate), but I like my definition better and since it's my birthday, I get my way.


The anniversary of one's birth is a great time to celebrate and be spoiled; cake, flowers, cards, gifts, and many thoughtful people sharing the day - party on! My cup runneth over...


But it is also a good time for reflection and looking forward.


This year, I did not spend much time reflecting that another year of my life has passed, because I have recently looked at myself and my life and have found it wanting; which is what brought me here to blog and keep track of myself in the first place.


Also, I am not planning to dwell on the future too much, because the changes I am working to make in my life and specifically with myself for a better tomorrow are what I'm keeping track of here.


There is more to it, of course, because it's not just about making changes to myself or in my life. It is more like peeling off layers of ...stuff... to get to the me I am supposed to be.   I know I'm in here somewhere and I plan to find me.


I remember her, I liked her, I don't remember what happened to her though. And that doesn't matter. What matters is that I stay focused and keep peeling away the layers, by doing the right thing and finding the right things that need to be done.


One of the things I've mentioned that are helpful are having reminders of Right Thought.  Seeing things that are meaningful and giving pause to them.  One such meaningful sign, especially in the winter months, is light. The candle on my cake did not go unnoticed or unappreciated by me. It was a warm glow, like a porch light left on to tell me that the key is under the mat, come on in.  


Y'know, sometimes, I almost know my way back. When I don't think too hard about it, when I’m not trying to see it through a magnifying glass or analyzing it too much, then I notice the chinks in the wall, I built in a hidden place, that show the light from the other side.  This makes me smile...it's a good thing, a good feeling, when I seem to be in the right place at the right time.


So, the candle was lit on the cake. I closed my eyes and made my birthday wish. I can't share it or it won't come true, right? At least, that's the way I remember it.

...wink...

BB,
~LM